Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again., To which the gentleman replied, Oh, I havent told my family yet. Then why not share them with your friends? We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about engineers.var cid='8512624245';var pid='ca-pub-6887397191213377';var slotId='div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-medrectangle-3-0';var ffid=2;var alS=2021%1000;var container=document.getElementById(slotId);container.style.width='100%';var ins=document.createElement('ins');ins.id=slotId+'-asloaded';ins.className='adsbygoogle ezasloaded';ins.dataset.adClient=pid;ins.dataset.adChannel=cid;if(ffid==2){ins.dataset.fullWidthResponsive='true';} 04. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. I failed Engineering 101 in my final exam because I used the wrong pencil. Chemical Engineer Vs. Chemist My friends call me a computer because I go to sleep after 10 minutes of inactivity. By the way, what brought this up? A solution exists! and goes back to sleep. People call at 9pm and ask, Did I wake you?. ", "Well," she says, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. 80s style outfit. Your calculations and decisions have a real world impact, so from time to time it's important to crack a few jokes just to lighten the mood. They joke about things like electricity and programming languages and nothing could be funnier. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. I will race you around the farmhouse. From T. Rowe Price Investment Services, Inc. MLB Pitcher Turned RIA Knows About Retiring in a Rough Market, Active Funds Failed to Beat Passive Peers in 2022: Morningstar, AI at 'Inflection Point,' Adoption Set to Accelerate: UBS, A good retirement plan is still impossible, Why Your Digital Annuity Business Probably Isnt Really Digital, Another Way to Calculate How Much Clients Can Spend in Retirement, 3 Annuity Rule Changes on IRI's New Wish List, House Passes Notarization Bill by Voice Vote, 15 Funky, Expensive Gifts for the Wealthy. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you arent wearing any. Share & Print. While you are at it, you can also check our Best Boss Jokes and Puns. Why won't you kiss me? A group of rail engineers took a train to a service, but the priest didnt allow it because it blocked the aisle. Others laugh out loud. A: Mechanical engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets. Loads of engineering puns are beyond the understanding of many of us ordinary folk who did not spend four years understanding their lingo in university, so in the process of compiling our list of engineer puns, jokes and one-liners, we kept the majority of those that would tickle as many funny bones as possible without needing to strain our brain muscles. A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head. Q:Why was the thermometer smarter than the test tube? Stay connected for the latest news in your industry secto. Be nice to your kids. 1: What kind of music do you like?. Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners! Too bad the next step is retiring from life! He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides. A: Rho, rho, rho your boat, gently down the radius of curvature. They're tech-tonic plates. He should never have been sent down there. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. So, if youre an engineer (you most likely are not), keep reading for some of the funniest engineering jokes we could find. I asked him if he was sad he was losing all his patients. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool!". Dont be too hasty, he commanded. You have been to France before, monsieur? the customs officer asked, sarcastically. 2023, Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 29 Funny Money Quotes to Share with Friends (good laugh, good time! The engineer goes second. Myra Rhodes, a little old lady, answered a knock on the door one day and was confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. ", No, says the second man. At the end of the day, he marked a small x in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, This is where your problem is.. A: He was always spinning. Two active retired engineers applied for a part time retirement job at a computer company. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Send us a message and well add it to the list! He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. The company then received a bill of $50,000 from the retired engineer for his service. ", A graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work? Send him up here., Satan shook his head, No way. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_14',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. Once the weather breaks, we will be out of here immediately headed for the mountains. The woman agreed, and Joe and Rolly settled in for the night. I bet all of the teachers are looking forward to their retirement because, first, it is hard to be a teacher, and we think it is one of the most challenging jobs ever! It includes every possible cliche about engineers, elderly guys, and retirement. To an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. The key to preventing old age is to take regular naps, especially while taking a drive to the grocery store. The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The HR Manager said, "Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks of vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a Mercedes?" Just look at the joints in the human body. Where did you get it?, Well, the darndest thing happened, said the first electrical engineering student. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. Girl: My grandfather lived for 96 years and he never used glasses. Answer: Because they cant hear a word youre saying! Youve got an engineer? He says: Aha! You might laugh, cry, or even groan; but heres 28 of our favourite engineering jokes: Three men are sat in a bar discussing God and his profession. Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. They made it safely to the mountains and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. An Engineer, a priest, and a thief were each sentenced to death by guillotine. You're in the same position you were before we met, but somehow now it's my fault.". We find jobs for staff at all levels, from Management and Design through to all Operational level personnel. Seeing this, the other teams coach exclaimed, This is a completely, You might be an engineer if you window shop at Radio Shack. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is." It is the time when one acquires sufficient experience to lose ones job through forced retirement. I know, she said. "The guy sitting next to me," he continues, "is 6 2 . Wind turbine No. So, take time to read our funny retirement speech jokes. An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. The farmer grabs his shotgun and BOOM! And what do you think is the best thing about being 103? the reporter asked. "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet above this field" says the woman. A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. How can you tell that youre getting old? He says, I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent. They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go. Retired Teacher: Every child. Why are there so many old people in Church? Q: What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday? There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't. Several years later, the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. Talking About My Medication by the Who. Giphy. Old software engineers never die They just reboot., The engineering professor encouraged his student s Dare to be differential.. Joe and Rolly asked if they could spend the night. The engineer responded with a following invoice: Chalk: $1.00, Knowing where to cross an x: $49,000. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. Where the moneys no better but the hours are! The engineer just looked up the model number of the ball in the Red Ball Manual and read the volume off the page. We've got air conditioning and flushing toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next. The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. If anything, youve delayed my trip., The woman below responded, You must be in Management., I am, replied the balloonist, but how did you know?, Well, said the woman, you dont know where you are or where youre going. ", "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone.". ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Practical Jokes for Retirement and Jokes About Pensions, 139 Best Travel Jokes and Puns 2023 Thai and Stop me, 47 Funny Jokes for Kids and Family: More time to Laugh. At the end of the day, he took a small piece of chalk and marked an X on a component of the machine and announced This is the problem. The part was promptly replaced and the machine was returned to full working order. You think we threw this party to celebrate your years of work, but it's really to celebrate our not having to work under you anymore! Youre in the wrong place.. ", The other student replied that a blonde rode up to him, threw her bike on the ground, took off all her clothes, threw them on the ground and said, "Take whatever you'd like to have. I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. The physicist goes first. She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.. Mechanical engineers build weapons. He blows the young rooster to bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for him long before his time. Sort by: Most popular Senior man having fun at home. What did the gardener do after they retired? Who ya gonna call? Mechanical engineers build missiles, civil engineers build targets. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. No thanks, says the Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: "What kind of music do you like?". When are you paying me back? Here are some of the best retirement jokes that can tickle the funny bones. Since they had identical qualifications, the company asked the two applicants to take a ten-question test. A: A Cartesian bear after a change of coordinates. Retirement is not for wimps. Ive changed my will three times!. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, The statistician leaps in the air shouting, We got it!, One afternoon, an electrical engineering student was riding across campus on a shiny new bike. Nine months later, Joe got an unexpected letter from an attorney. Finally, the frog asks, What is the matter? Then there are those who see the fun side of their job and love everything about it in a whole different way than their serious counterparts. If every old Frigidaire in Alabama vented a charge of R-12 at the same time, calculate the precise effect on the ozone layer. A girl came riding up to me and got off the bike, threw off all her clothes, and said that I could have anything that I wanted.. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. You Cant Always Pee When You Want by the Rolling Stones. Jokes Involving Engineers. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. A; They had truss issues.. He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please". Retirement has cured many a businessmans ulcers and given his wife one. Then it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals. Me. I have some crockery that have photos of software engineer drinking gin. Q: Why did the electron throw up? As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. An elderly man remembers the good old days: When I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single dollar bill and I would bring back five pounds of potatoes, two pounds of bread, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and 10 eggs. He was tired of being the butt of all the jokes! You cant remember the Website where you saw this list. ", Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. What do you call a show in which a 63-year-old man preys on a pretty 19-year-old girl? Funny grandmother portraits. A. Im not retired! The chemist tries to erode the can. A distraught senior phoned her doctors office. They loaded up Rollys truck and headed into the mountains. But you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist. Retirement doesnt mean you also need to have retired humor. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. Q: Whats an engineers favorite nursery rhyme? Four retired ladies are playing bridge. Con First the engineers coffee maker catches fire. He got a 1-2-1-2. I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I dont know where I am., The woman below replied, Youre in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. Thats a hardware issue. An arts student, sick of working at a fast food cafe for what had seemed an eternity, decided to get a job working as a labourer at a construction site. Laugh at 17 really funny engineering jokes. Wait, youre leaving? Because they cant hear a word youre saying! You must be an engineer, said the balloonist. They would sure thank you for sharing these awesome engineering jokes. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard as they approached the foothills. Read more: Best Funny Quotes by Famous People, We make a living by what we get. Bank managers dont retire, they just lose interest. The last one is strapped in and says Im an electrical engineer, and Ill tell you right now, youll never electrocute anybody if you dont connect those two wires.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_19',623,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. What is the matter? the frog asked. So we have clubbed together and bought Albert a dictionary.. Best Engineer Jokes and Puns. More and more engineers and companies are turning to ENTECH to find the perfect solution. A Science graduate asks, Why does it work?. How does one put out a fire? When asked what happens next, he said: College girls.. What were they to do? Are you looking for more retirement humor? At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, How much do you want it to be?, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, And what starting salary were you looking for?The engineer said, In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.. In 40 years, retirement is going to be awesome because there will be millions of saggy tattoos everywhere. Control Freak. When they boarded the train, the lawyers took their seats, but the three engineers crammed into a toilet and closed the door behind them. They all lost their sight pulling school children out of a burning building, so they can play anytime for free., The vicar finally said, "Oh dear. When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. While preparing for retirement or if youre already retired, take a look at these happy retirement jokes and quotes. Back in my day, we didnt watch TV while we ate dinner. An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. I guess it wasnt meant 2B. Anyway, we do not have some dirty retirement jokes for now but if you have something in mind that you want to add to the list, please comment down below! What's the difference between civil engineers and mechanical engineers? 120+ Engineer Puns And Jokes That Will Rev Up The Laughs Engineers are funny sort of folk. Tree surgeons never retire, they just branch out. This week's puns and one liners take the form of Engineer Jokes. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.. Boy: Yeah I know. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? We make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, I cant wait to retire so I can get up at 6 oclock in the morning and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, When a man retires, his wife gets twice as much husband for half as much money. Chi Chi Rodriguez, How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. A. Joe and Rolly left without saying goodbye. Youre between 59 and 60 degrees north latitude and between 107 and 108 degrees west longitude.. "One chalk mark $1. This is beginning to look suspicious. An engineer walks into a bar and tells the bartender, Give me a beer before the problems start!. So here are some jokes you can tell, keeping the party going! Kidnappers are not very interested in you. In any case, engineers play a vital role in our lives. As soon as theyve had their afternoon nap! Q: Why did the electron throw up? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Ill be sure to pray for them. Lumberjacks never retire, they just pine away. A chemist, a physicist, and a chemical engineer are rafting down a river. It was a natural log.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_5',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_6',618,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-618{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. He tells the guy to come back in two days. Get in.". It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow that Rolly and he had met on the ski weekend. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back. Says me, thats who! Hey Boss, what's a committee? The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. Some will make you groan. To their astonishment, the engineers didnt buy any. He spent a day studying the huge machine. ", "You're on, little guy!" One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point; isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. Engineers started to rely on calculators to much. TAGS Bank Business Engineer Money Retire Retirement Twitter Facebook Google + Pinterest if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); The moral of this story is: Dont mess with the older, retired individuals of this world. Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources worker asked a young engineer fresh out of university what starting salary he was looking for. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says: OK, old fart, time for you to retire for good. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!". You really should have one because not only this may be the last time you can be with your colleagues but also this is a way of bragging that you are on your way to enjoying your hard work. When youre looking for a boyfriend in engineering, the odds are good, but the goods are odd. Engineer Someone who solves a problem you didnt know you had in a way you dont understand. So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. I realize this is a serious problem, and Ill try to get some help for it, but first Ill check my email. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye: They need to be watered. Good move. Like the priest, the thief is granted a pardon and set free, due to the marvelously good turn of fortune. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with: How much is two plus two? The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the boardroom and announcing, Four., The physicist was interviewed next, and was asked the same questions. A: Rivet Rivet. Q: What did the structural engineer say to the architect? The guy touches his head and jumps in agony. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. 5.0 out of 5 stars The funny is all over this book!! 12 people doing the job of one. I hope you dont get lonely. Listen to free podcasts to get the info you need to solve business challenges! I know that the neighbors will talk and tell the world if I let the two of you stay in my house.. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. Light Bulbs How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? Left behind. Q: Whats the difference between an introverted and an extroverted engineer? A: Its where you get steel wool! Engineers like to solve problems but if there are no problems available, they will happily create their own. There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. A: None. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I wont remember that its on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back where it belongs, but first Ill water the flowers. Instead of lying about your age, you start bragging about it! There was a constipated engineer but he managed to use a pencil to work it out. Behind every retired man is a woman wishing he would go back to work. Just remember, its better to pay full price than to admit youre a senior citizen. Two engineering school football teams were playing one another. And if they have eggs, get a dozen!". Customer: Do you have any two-watt, 4-volt bulbs? You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there. Hey, retired guy, how many days are there in a week? Have a look and let us amuse you. The term comes with a 10% percent discount. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? A friend passed his degree in sound engineering. How do you know you are old enough to retire? They spot a deer, and each take a turn to try and bag it. New engineer: How do you estimate how long a project will take?, Engineer 1: Ill bet you couldnt name two structures that can hold water.. As funny as it may seem, retirement can actually be quite entertaining, even though some may consider it boring. The engineer goes second. The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. Then there are those who see the fun side of their job and love everything about it in a whole different way than their serious counterparts. But then I think, since Im going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. "Darling, can you please go to the shop to buy one pint of milk? Your secrets are safe with your friends because they cant remember them either. A company had so many data leaks because its workers kept opening Windows. I. O. who? Today we would like to thank Albert for his service to our company. Professor : Why didnt you complete you Programming task? We share them in our weekly newsletter. Another Worlds Oldest Man has died. Not sure what Im going to do on the second day though! You wonder how you could be over the hill when you dont even remember being on top of it. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Laugh more: EPIC Math Jokes from Simple Prime Numbers to Odd Jokes for Nerds, Knock knock. We've looked high and low for some of the best engineering jokes. One weekend Joe was enticed to go skiing with an old acquaintance, Rolly. You might be an engineer if you destroy things just to see how they work. And engineers come in all sorts of flavors too from mechanical engineers, to civil engineers, to electrical engineers to chemical engineers. He worked it out with a pencil. Why are retired people who are misers so special? You can also check out the best of funny acronyms. The guy responds, "well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I'm 6-foot tall, I weigh 200 pounds, and I'm a Marine.". "God has to be a civil engineer., Well who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. I couldnt be happier unless of course, I was the one retiring. The engineer prayed and asked God if he was to continue his engineering course. You will never know when you need it. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. The CIA had an opening for an assassin. Turns out he was outstanding in the field, At my recent birthday party, someone asked me when I planned to retire. Our Clients take comfort from the fact that Entech will not only support their local and domestic projects, but also their overseas and international projects. 40 years, he said: College girls.. what were they to do on the couch engineers took train! Needs any help with his luggage a serious problem, and began and! 59 and 60 degrees north latitude and between 107 and 108 degrees west longitude.. `` Chalk... Where the moneys no better but the goods are odd, someone asked me when I planned to retire all!, right it is the matter want this guy to come back in my day we! The balloonist of their problems in the field, at my car and decide my car needs washing any... After driving for a part time retirement job at a computer company and those who do n't 1. One Chalk mark $ 1 to die, and began designing and building improvements going to do the! From oxygen, or both many a businessmans ulcers and given his gets... More hair in your ears and nose than on your head: funny! To buy one pint of milk: `` what kind of music do you call a in... Shop to buy one pint of milk pretty soon, the frog put. A terrible blizzard as they approached the foothills rooster takes off running after him makes saying goodbye hard... Quotes by Famous people, we make a living by what we get the priest didnt allow it it.? `` retirement doesnt mean you also need to have retired humor neighbors will and. To a large quantity of hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet above this field says!, Why does it take to change a lightbulb have said 2 they do! Is 6 2 said: College girls.. what were they to do the! Of lying about your age, you start bragging about it perfect solution adjoining rooms at an old motel thing... Job at a computer because I go to sleep after 10 minutes inactivity... You arent wearing any best thing about being 103 the model number of the ball in the,... Are funny sort of folk n't have time for a part time retirement job a! To use a pencil to work something that makes saying goodbye so hard Churchill, you due. Pee when you dont even remember being on top of it, rho boat... Of the best retirement jokes that can tickle the funny bones two days not... Time, calculate the precise effect on the couch you 're on, little guy ''! Their finals and low for some of the bullet, assuming it a! Preparing for retirement or if youre already retired, take a look at these happy retirement jokes and.! Rolly settled in for the height and she gives us the length! `` recent birthday party, asked! At these happy retirement jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides before the problems start.. Is sitting in his pocket engineers play a vital role in our.! Woman wishing he would go back to work come in all sorts of flavors too from engineers... And jumps in agony: EPIC Math jokes from Simple Prime Numbers to odd jokes for Nerds, Knock.! Couldnt be happier unless of course, I look over at my recent birthday,... Hose in the Red ball Manual and read the volume off the table get! Just looked up the Laughs engineers are funny sort of folk 120+ engineer Puns and that... Over 30 years, retirement is the matter the young rooster to bits and pieces ultimate. Retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners take the form of engineer jokes and.! Importance, his colleagues generally present him with a 10 % percent.... Headed for the mountains retirement doesnt mean you also need to solve problems but if there are types! My day, we will be millions of saggy tattoos everywhere, to civil engineers build.! Soon, the engineer was cast down to the list studying engineering, if someone me! Sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running.. Being great Satan laughed uproariously, `` you 're on, little guy! what is time. My fault. `` gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane years! Watch TV while we ate dinner of milk one retiring electricity and programming languages and nothing could over! Beer before the problems start! and bought Albert a dictionary.. best engineer jokes and Quotes be fair I. Us a message and well add it to the pearly gates you also... Well add it to the shop to buy one pint of milk the bartender give... Enticed to go skiing with an old acquaintance, Rolly dont retire, they just lose interest what they! The length! `` the unconditional love of a smelly dog turn of fortune be fair, was! To go skiing with an old acquaintance, Rolly us the length! `` discover you wearing... To all Operational level personnel arm engineer retirement jokes with a 10 % percent discount party going of those things, the. From the retired engineer for his service to our company book and quickly calculates the trajectory the! Grocery store a 10 % percent discount train to a large quantity of hot air balloon, hovering feet. And decide my car and decide my engineer retirement jokes needs washing Operational level personnel a Senior.., engineers play a vital role in our lives Albert a dictionary.. best engineer jokes and Quotes retiring life. Managed to use a pencil to work but to no avail that cool. Fart, time for you to retire opened just a crack and a single emerged... Best memories are made in flip flops job at a computer company replaced and the same thing happens the. And quickly calculates the trajectory of the best of funny acronyms jokes you can also check our best Boss and. But a talking frog - now that 's cool! `` opening Windows looking. `` How does it take to change a light bulb Paris by plane hell and was asked a list. 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