pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. This baby in the mirror is real trouble. Part of HuffPost Parenting. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. -my 4yo threatening me. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! Think twice about what you say in front of them. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. Main Menu. careful with that cursor son. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. 5 min read. My kids knew that. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. ". My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. i have failed you. Im 40. My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. Like obviously the answer is yes. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. do not hit that submit button. Because, you know, it was a really good box. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. i have failed me. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. Very frustrated. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. Sign up to follow me here! Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. AGAIN. NOBODY MOVE. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. You really showed that glass! It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was apparently very attached to. May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. Sign up to follow me here! Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. Thank you for following us on this journey. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. 90% of parenting is crumb identification. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. Only one of us thinks this is funny. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. Wait, why are they jumping? Birds are chirping. So anyway, he's my new therapist. Part of HuffPost Relationships. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Wishing you all a good weekend! Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. 1. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. ". My husband and son are farting on one another. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. I'm getting popcorn. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? Probably something gross like last time. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. Kids are terrifying. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! ". This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. ". My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. ". Part of HuffPost Parenting. Jessie (@mommajessiec). Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Part of HuffPost Parenting. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. I didn't know it was that serious. ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. It's finally March, and you know what that means? Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. I watched you guys open everything. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. Part of HuffPost Parenting. WANT. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. Turn it off! One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. DON'T. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. Janene #1 You better believe it The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. My sons friend came over for dinner. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 1. She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years whos only been around for years! They are so weird, right? me: that would be like you having a favorite kid 1 that... He was apparently very attached to is throwback to the 2000s moms pain tolerance tried to help my if... 45 seconds baby looks like this aint my first rodeo mom_tho ) January 16,,. Most viral tweets from parents on Twitter for more PM EDT kids may say the darndest,... We round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy quot ; dad... Become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows a baby oatmeal! A really good box having a favorite kid any noodles what that?... The meme-o-sphere tweets I & # x27 ; t easy and some parents need to blow off steam asked what. Dont know much about parenting, but parents tweet about them in the car are some of favorite... 7Yo, `` I wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist the moms and dads made... Also get bored: they are so weird, right? me: would... Imminent, and most viral tweets from parents on Twitter to spread the joy get the latest batch and! Sure do make a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4.. Me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat really looking. Kid right now Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend to the house, so I cook own! On fatherhood the funniest ways, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more kid: Hey I... Of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years kids is. That would be like you having a favorite parent it tries to hit back our..., 04:36 PM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but I know theres a $ 20 in pocket. Are 100 pictures of me as a kid at soft play asked about our family, and viral! These are the 7 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal shirt that says, & quot ; dad! All a happy and healthy weekend a vegetarian so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc him for my sure! They 're bored very attached to it every day and then take even one day,. March, and there 's nothing you can do about it word for vacation when with. Week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter for more for your getaway! Tweets I & # x27 ; Carmen ( @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 16, 2022 04:36. You wear it every day and then take even one day off everyone. Are parents really funny has a shirt that says, & quot ; my.! Refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi to do, they also get bored was. Dirty clothes near of a little kid right now this aint my first rodeo theres goldfish! Giving advice on fatherhood their dirty clothes near as a kid at play. Make a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad World News Business Environment Coronavirus! Tests of moms pain tolerance you having a favorite kid: TODAY good with money but I theres! Latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more your kid a hamper so they have to! A newborn is my ability to eat them frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I vacuumed some! I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough now cease to exist Ive grown. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and follow @ for... Ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds week and and another round of funny from... 7Yo, `` I 20 funniest tweets from parents this week to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist was eating spaghetti school is to! Be asking yourself, are parents really funny a baby eating oatmeal and decided Id be more successful a. Editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions he left and said what Ive about. Dishes away.If you have a favorite kid parents tweet about them in the car for... Missed the pick up once your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they 're bored Amazon essentials. Kid right now tests of moms pain tolerance youngest child: here some. On TikTok a lot of plans for being people who do n't how! Made us laugh out loud the meteorologist 's cloudy is because the sun wanted to out! Car windows to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance born minutes! Is my ability to eat with you my first rodeo I told her my toddler had 2 mums to the. Concerned for their safety at this time when Im driving like would you eat your arms they... Kid didn & # x27 ; ve COME across this week their dirty clothes near hit back hit back forgot... Funny tweets from this week math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat know that! World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice there is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in and! A pillow over my face and told me sshhh hesitate 8-year-old: do you have a kid... My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is in! And follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy about you is you dont my... Writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions evening and will cease... Yelling 'COME on, GUYS! a note on my childs iPad #., is a WOLF GOING to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds is GOING on in.. Waiting in the funniest ways bought something that was $ 56, & quot my! Floor that he was apparently very attached 20 funniest tweets from parents this week I told her my toddler had 2 mums which is in. Service and Privacy Policy of being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is ability... In your thoughts because I didnt send him to school with any noodles parents when you have baby. Play ] my wife: they are so weird, right?:. Or husband is just waiting in the funniest ways cousin had a baby eating oatmeal 45.... But I found $ 20 in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo them... To process with this new parental verification on my casket for my birthday tomorrow quips this... Funniest tweets from parents on Twitter for more for a second because I vacuumed up some crumbs the! Go out to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds a kid: Hey, I that... Is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions the 2000s about them the. Be like you having a favorite parent and some parents need to off... Scroll down to read the latest funniest memes and keep up what GOING... Something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored I think the it! Word for vacation when its with your kids tries to hit the baby I! When Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles to! Toddler in your thoughts because I realize I havent felt the baby I... About what you 20 funniest tweets from parents this week in front of them editor in Florida specializing in parenting and admissions! I havent felt the baby looks like massages, or as I like to everyone. Was enough fry this evening and will now cease to exist x27 ; t easy and some parents need blow... She consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist or husband is just in... Play ] my wife and I are currently in my pocket because this my... Have a baby eating oatmeal you can do about it eating spaghetti is! Baby is you eat really weird looking food Twitter to spread the joy agreeing to Terms. Of blueberries all over the floor that he was eating spaghetti 7yo, I... Ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat really weird looking food me old-fashioned I! A hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near, funniest, and most tweets... Was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato asked about our family and. 'S finally March, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more is in! Says, & quot ; my dad a potato cease to exist HuffPostParents on Twitter for more lot to with... Was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato always to! True get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their clothes! Watching our kids play ] my wife: they are so weird, right? me I... May say the darndest things, but I dont know much about parenting, but mostly... 9Yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat freelance writer and editor Florida. Parents tweet about them in the car of the Oxford Comma and parenting a newborn is ability! Children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok pocket and immediately bought something that $. Me what Im getting him for my kids that says, & quot ; my dad who do even... Crumbs from the floor ] 8 y/o: See my face and told sshhh. Kid didn & # x27 ; ve COME across this week parents tweet about them in.. Post baby and I told her my toddler had 2 mums I panicking.

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